Changes Part II

So, where was I? Oh yes right, snow…. We have had far to much snow these past few weeks and lots of snow days to add to the mixture. Snow days for the kids along with me missing work to stay home with the kids. Things at my work have been rather crazy in that there has been a lot of tit for tat, he said she said kind of thing. My boss for the most part is pretty easy, but with my last pregnancy she had a difficult time understanding it all. So much so that when I was ready to come back, I didn't know if I would have a job to go back to. After a lot of tears and wondering I did go back but not 8 weeks from my delivery date but 12 weeks. She had hired someone else right before I went out of work and I think that lady was supposed to take over my position. I think she might have made herself out to be better than she actually was, so when I came back things kind of fell back into place as they were before I even left. Lately though, I have had a feeling that this said woman was trying really hard to get rid of me. It has all felt like the game of Sur*vivor. Who can outwit, outlast, and outplay one another. I love to watch that show, but I would make a bad player. I hate to lie, and I certainly am a paranoid person, always wondering if someone is talking about me or doesn't like me. So, over that last few weeks things have been going down hill. Last Thursday was the boiling point, and my boss had, had enough. She fired such woman, and it was a day from h e double l! I went home that day stressed to my eye balls wondering what was in store. Unfortunately I don't work Fridays so I had to go through the weekend wondering what really happened over the weekend. I cried buckets on Friday wondering what I should do. I started checking the Internet for new jobs, looking into school. What avenue would I ultimately take? I placed a call to a school to check out the Med. Assistant program, and went to the school on Saturday with my parents while M stayed home with the kids. I thought it might be a good choice but after talking with my Mom, my ultimate goal has always been to become a Reg. Nurse. I either want to work in Labor and Delivery or the NICU. I have begun the process to get myself going, and get back into the swing of things. I dug out my diploma and looked up my GPA. I was astonished to realize that I maintained a 3.97 grade point average and graduated with honors, and was in the honor society. I also put myself out there and sent my resume to a local center where M and I began the long journey to become parents. They are looking for a part time Assistant to schedule appointments for their AI program. Right up my alley. I got that call yesterday, and had my phone interview with the woman who runs the program. It went well, and she wants me to come in to have my formal interview next Thursday, only problem, I thought the position was just part time, it was told to me that in fact it is part time, but temporary since the person whom usually has the position is out on Medical leave. I don't know what to do now, I would love to still go for the interview just so I can get my feet wet, and talk with her that if something comes up sometime to give me a call. But to travel an hour away from my work to go to this said interview, pay for parking just to say that, has me once again questioning my decision. I can not take a temporary job, not now, not ever. So what should I do? What would you do? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Changes

I have been on Face*book for sometime now. I have a hard time deciding what I should and what I shouldn't say on Face*book. I have people whom I like and know, but I still have a hard time in writing everything down there. I have always found my blog to be my safe haven (if you will) to write what I truly feel. I thought a couple of weeks ago that I would invite everyone from my Face*book account to come and view this blog. Then I became the person that I usually do. I tend to get nervous as to who is reading this. I want to be able to come here and write whatever I feel and not be judged on what I might be saying. So I changed the blog name, again. And will only give this site out to people I want to read this.

Anyways, change is in the works at this household. Things have been very busy with this household. About a week ago Little Miss got hand, foot, and mouth. Not a big deal for most children and actually she has had it before. What the problem was, was that she didn't want to eat or drink anything, and I mean anything. 24 hours after Grammie J bringing her to the doctors, M and I ended up at the hospital because she hadn't peed in 24 hours. She was admitted with an IV catheter placed and ended up having 2000 c.c.s of IV fluids before she would even think of peeing. She only ended up peeing 200 c.c.s at that point, but they were just happy that she did anything. We ended up being released later that day. Things on that front have been better. Although who will know what the future holds as far a sickness in this house since this weather is so wacky. Speaking of weather, we have had far more snow than I ever want to see and wouldn't you know that we are heading into having another snow storm this coming up Wednesday. I don't know how much yet, but if you look out the window and see what is out there now, I don't even know where they are going to put anymore. The City is already over budget and we aren't even half way through the winter season. To be continued…..

Moments In Time

Today is the first Friday that I have been able to be home on my day off. Usually there seems to be something that must be done.

I woke up this morning to M getting ready for work and Little Miss thumping down the hallway to our bedroom. I don't know if M was to loud or if Little Miss just being Little Miss and decided today would be that day that she would get up at 4:30 AM. Either way she ended up in our bed. M headed out the door and Little Miss continued to talk, and talk. Finally falling back asleep at 6 AM when it was time for me to get up to get Princess going for school. I woke up doing my normal routine of getting Princesses lunch box around and packing her back pack. I got her up and in the tub to play some while I picked up the house. I got her dressed and ready finally finishing up getting her some breakfast. All the while Little Miss was still asleep in my bed down the hallway. Princess and I talked about what she would be doing in school today and what would be happening during her day. I got her dressed to wait for the bus. We waited and waited because it was her first day back after this huge snow storm that we the other day creating the city to be in disarray for a couple of days and school being out for two. The bus finally arrived 10 minutes late, but not to bad if I say so myself. I came inside to Little Miss waking up and coming down the hall only to proceed to call for Princess. It was rather a sad site. She called and called only for me to tell her that she was on the bus going to school. She had the saddest little face with the quivering lip and all. She wanted Princess to stay home and play with her. I felt so bad….These are the moments in time that I wish I could just stop time.

Time just doesn't seem to stay still long enough. Each day I seem to wish the day would go quicker. Especially the days when I have to go to work. From the moment I get up in the morning and get ready I am already wishing that the day would be over. It's not that I don't like my job, but I find myself longing for a job that I feel so passionately about. I hope in the near future something will head my way for me to do it. But for now, I am going to try and take each day as it comes and enjoy it. Like they say take a lemon and turn it into lemonade. I feel like my kids are growing up way to quickly and I so much wish I would and could have more time to enjoy the little things that are going on. So today while Princess is at school, that is exactly what I am doing, enjoying my time home ALONE with Little Miss. She is loving all this attention, and I am loving this moment in time with her!

BC (Before Children)

I was just going through my computer and came across some pictures that I find amazing! These photos are from before we became a couple, to becoming a couple and then becoming married.

It's been 14 years that we became a couple. That we said that we would be together and only us. I was 15 and she was 17…..It seems like yesterday but yet I know logically it's been sometime. We have been through so much. Death in our families, a divorce between my father in law and mother in law, the death of our beloved dogs, to trying and becoming pregnant. Then doing it all over again for the second time. It amazes me each and every time I see my other half with our kids. She is such a strong, thoughtful, caring, Mom. Our kids adore her, and she adores them even more. I am so happy to call her my wife, best friend, and just so glad that we have got to experience this life together. I can't wait to see what 2011 brings to our household. I know that this year is going to be very exciting. Together with the love from my wife it will all come together. I am so thankful for her support.

I love you M! I am so glad that you are mine!! XOXOXO

Just Sitting and Thinking

For some reason tonight I am sitting in bed getting ready to shut my eyes for the evening but thought I would write some before bed.

Yesterday was a great day. I had a lovely letter sent to me, and all I can say is that I am delighted. Two reasons that I can't really go into here, but are two great things that will be happening in 2011 for my family. I am looking forward to it all.

Also, as I sit and think about everything, I just begin to wonder. M and I have been talking for some time about having a 3rd child. At first a while ago when I came into some more vials of our donor I talked with M about having a 3rd. She wasn't interested at that time. Then over time she was the one that actually brought it up to me. We discussed it all and after some talking she decided that she would really like to have a genetic child even though she doesn't want to carry him/her. I got some vials and stored them for safe keeping still unsure what the future would hold. We went to our RE that we used to conceive both our daughters and talked about the process. Cost wise, I wasn't all that concerned since it is way less for what we paid to have both our daughters. But I still sit and wonder, how will we do it? Will we be able to provide each child what they will want? Not so much what they need, but what they want? See we have really created monsters already. Princess at the ripe age of 5 got a power wheels at the age of 1 and the presents have only gotten bigger from there. I*Pod, New D S I, you name it this kid has it. Little Miss on the other hand, doesn't request as much. She loves to go to the store and play with the toys but doesn't ask for much. We still get her what she wants but for some reason I guess she isn't as big of a diva. The biggest gift that she had asked for was a John Dee*re tractor just like her Papa's. She got that for her birthday this year. I just have so many things swirling in my head. I want a 3rd baby so bad of our own, yet wonder what life would be like. I know there is no right or wrong answer, I just wish I had a crystal ball to tell me what the future holds. We shall see I guess....

Day 3 of the New Year!

Day 3 of the New Year...it doesn't seem like 3 days has already gone by. But then again I guess it has. Lets see, on Friday night we decided to trek out with the kids in tow to get some snacks for the evening. We thought we would have a nice relaxing night spending some quality time together as a family. After shopping we headed back home. I did some laundry, cleaning of the house, and giving baths to the girls. After eating dinner I continued my cleaning spree and finished up by taking a nice shower. While in the bathroom I noticed that M still had the debit card in her pocket. I took it out and put it on the counter. As I got out of the shower I said to myself, " I must put this away so that Little Miss doesn't get a hold of it", ya we all know where this is going to go....I haven't got a clue as to where I went with it from there. I woke up the next morning continuing on the cleaning spree to take down this damn tree and M wanted to go out to get lunch for all of us. My cousin had come over to trim my hair, along with the girls. (She is going to hair dressing school) She went into my pocket book and asked me where the card was. I was puzzled, I went searching and looking to no available. I feel like I have Alzheimer's. Sad at the age of 29. Scary as to what's to come in the near future if I am already going insane. I still haven't found it. So tomorrow I will go to the bank after work to apply for a new card. I haven't been all that stressed because I know that it is in this house. Where I don't know, but I do know that it is here. We didn't go anywhere since I was a in bed and asleep by 8. Then yesterday I wake up to do the dishes and get the kids some cereal for breakfast to only having luke warm water....my first thoughts, shit the hot water heater, you have got to be kidding me right!?!?! We reset the button and so far so good. I am crossing my fingers that it's not on it's way out and that nothing else crazy is going to happen. One last thing, please wish me luck. I have a phone call that I am getting ready to do hopefully tomorrow and waiting for some information as well. Hoping for some good news soon!

A Year In Review....

I have so much to say, but once again so little time. I have decided to share a few pictures that have been taken throughout the year to show everyone how my year has been. I have to say 2010 has been an amazing, and trying year all in one. I have had such pleasure and sadness rolled into one. My kids and wife have brought nothing but pure happiness into my life. I can only hope that this coming up year is as good, if not better than the last. Let's all hold up our glass and say CHEERS! Hoping everyone has a Happy New Year! May I be able to experience another year of happiness!!